The Marketing Dept. That Ate Pittsburgh
By way of full-disclosure, I must admit that I do not have the best track record when it comes to picking sports teams to root for, at least in terms of their mascots. In junior high (and that was in the late 1970s), everybody had a favorite football team - Billy was (and still is, but maybe not after today) a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, Jeff rooted for the now-in-St. Lois-but-formerly the Los Angeles Rams, and the Dallas Cowboys were America’s Team.
A rough-riding, Indian-killing (pre-PC days) Cowboy, a gruff mountain animal known for its vicious headbutts, and a no-nonsense blue-collar working man’s smash-mouth football team. So what did I pick…
…the at-the-time 0-26 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A pirate… But not a mangy, swarthy, cut-out-
your-gibblets with my sword pirate. No, I chose a Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean Gay Pirate. The cleaned-up version.
I was a laughing stock… and not the for the first or last time. Except, to mine, and everybody else’s surprise, the Bucs won their last two games of that season (directly after my jumping on board their losing train), made the NFC Championship game two seasons later, and did eventually win a Super Bowl, so I don’t have to hang my head too low.
And now, thanks to some clowns - probably a committee of them - in the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Marketing Department, I can finally get a leg up on one of my football loving friends. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Pittsburgh Steelers new mascot - Steely McBeam!
See what happens when you let guys and gals in cheap suits make decisions? I fully well expect all of Pittsburgh’s more rough-and-tumble players to ask for an immediate trade.
Thank you, Steely McBeam, for helping me not be last anymore in the Mascot Wars!
Know of some other Marketing Department-driven sports franchise blunders? Leave your picks for worst mascot, team name, team colors, or team logo in the comments!
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TheWriteJerry @ August 20, 2007